Get over it ya wuss, or what?

 You’ve Been Hurt—You Owe It to Yourself to Heal

(By drawing from the work of Dr. Stephen C. Hayes and Dr. Kristin Neff)


When someone tells us to “just get over it,” they often mean well. Maybe they’re uncomfortable with our pain. Maybe they want to help us move on. But the truth is, emotional wounds don’t disappear through force or denial. 


Healing isn’t about “getting over it.” It’s about turning toward our pain with compassion and courage—and choosing to live meaningfully in its presence. 


This is where Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), developed by Dr. Stephen C. Hayes, and the self-compassion work of Dr. Kristin Neff, converge powerfully.


ACT teaches that pain is part of life—it’s not something to be erased, but something to make space for. Trying to avoid, suppress, or “fix” emotional pain often leads us into deeper suffering.


Instead, ACT invites us to accept what we feel without judgment, and to reconnect with what matters most to us—even while we hurt. Healing, in this sense, means showing up to life as it is, and committing to actions that align with our values.


Dr. Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion adds another layer: kindness toward the self when we’re in pain. Rather than criticizing ourselves for still being hurt, for not moving on faster, or for being “too sensitive,” self-compassion offers understanding. It says: Of course you’re hurting. This is hard. You deserve care, not blame. Self-compassion also reminds us that suffering is part of being human—we are not broken or alone in our pain.


Together, ACT and self-compassion don’t urge us to “get over it” as quickly as possible. They guide us gently to move through it. To allow grief, betrayal, or trauma to exist without letting them define us. To stop waiting for pain to end before we begin living again.


So if you’ve been hurt, you do owe something to yourself—not to be tougher, faster, or unaffected, but to be honest, brave, and kind.


 You owe it to yourself to stop fighting your pain and start honoring your healing. That’s where true freedom begins.


Elizabeth Lucy Robillard & Chatgpt 2025





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